Haphazard – The Product
Haphazard – The Product – Album Review
You know what I always tell ya…if I haven’t heard it, then it’s still new music to me!
Listening to The Product by Haphazard was the audio equivalent of cracking open a time capsule. Little, if anything, is known about when the four motherfuckers that made it did what they did, or who did what exactly…all I’ve learned in taking this assignment is that Haphazard walked into the studio with a set of ideas, did their thang, left it all on the studio floor, and walked out with an album on the very same day. Between that, and the fact that you’ve probably never heard this record either, that’s really all I know. The rest is what it is y’all…history, as they say. Details are always secondary in the world I’m living in anyway – all I wanna know about is how the music sounds, and whether it’s worth listening to.
Visually, I was like, damn…the odds are gonna be stacked against them in using one of my least favorite words in music right off the bat, opening The Product with a song called “Funky For You.” I silently placed by bets (cue eyeroll) on whether or not we’d end up hearing about a monkey, or a junkie…you know…the normal rhyming words that pop up just about 99.9% of the time you’ll ever see the word ‘funky’ in the mix. Spoiler alert…at exactly thirty seconds in, ‘monkey’ was the winner…sorry to those of you betting on junkie…better luck next time. Anyhow. When I was actually LISTENING to the song and not so focused on being a smartass…I gotta give credit where credit is due – Haphazard fucking JAMS. Do I want to acknowledge that, given that they’ve used the word ‘funky’ in this song freakin’ DOZENS of times? I mean…I’ll try to forget that part, even if I won’t forgive them for it. All kidding aside, the reality is, they’re actually using the word in a way that finally makes some damn sense! This IS a funky-ass track, in all the right ways…so I’m gonna let this slide based on how accurate it is. As far as first impressions go, honestly, Haphazard will bring a smile to your mug right off the drop, “Funky For You” is the kind of cut that gets you immediately interested with its combination of jazzy swagger and faithful Hip-Hop approach. If you’re a true fan of the roots of the genre, you’ll find this opening track basically impossible to resist, and that’s what’s up. From the way they get their own name into the main hook, to the natural rhythm of the main man on the mic and the musicians surrounding him – “Funky For You” is all aces at all times. It just sounds damn good to listen to, and possesses a seriously refreshing vibe.
If we’re to go according to the lore behind the recording and how it was made, there’s a few things we’ll have to accept along the way, like the ten-to-fifteen seconds of silence before “Broke Beat 1.0” begins. It is what it is. I would think, that much like the band themselves, we’re all just happy these songs still exist out there in the universe and we get the opportunity to listen to’em. That being said, “Broke Beat 1.0” comes through a little cooked in the mix, but nothing so detrimental that it’d stop you from listening. I dig these kind of instrumental interludes, and there are plenty of’em to be found on The Product. “Broke Beat 1.0” confirms the band has got chops and can provide ya with the smoothest of grooves. So be ready for that y’all…The Product has’em coming atcha at about a 1:1 ratio – you’ll get a full-on track with badass stuff goin’ on from the music to the microphone and instrumentals in between.
After about seven more seconds of silence that would make you think this was recorded in the mixtape cassette era and someone came into the office without their trusty Bic pen that morning, “Babies Making Babies” comes on, and Haphazard is off and running with solid rhythm and rhymes once again. Look…these ideas are great, and the execution is seriously spectacular when the whole band is jamming out together on such a unified front…to the point where I’m honestly surprised this is the first time that I’ve heard about Haphazard, and theoretically, the last as well. This crew should have continued on, no doubt about it. They’ve clearly paved the way for crews like Jurassic 5 when you listen to a track like “Babies Making Babies” – or if you’re looking for independent references, bands like TrackSevenBand, Koncrete Examples, or artists like Cunabear wouldn’t exist without bands like Haphazard having their moment in music’s history along the way. Listen to those drums too will ya? Dude is firing off back there from his seat on the throne yo! All kinds of awesomeness to be found though…the keyboards are killer, the bass keeps the *shudder…funkiness in-check, and the emcee is the highest of high caliber too. Lyrically clever, “Babies Making Babies” is genuine entertainment and a cautionary tale rolled into one.
“Broke Beat 2.0” is…hmm…probably not as good as “Broke Beat 1.0” from my perspective. Don’t get me wrong, Haphazard has got my full attention with their vibrant sound and the inspired spark they have in the way they play…but yeah…some broke beats are better than others I reckon, and we’ve got no real choice but to compare’em along the way as we listen to the course of a full record. I’d never personally turn off “Broke Beat 2.0,” or even skip ahead to the next track, but I’m still pretty take it or leave it with this particular cut. It’s all being played live right off the floor…you live and die with every single note in those instances, and while getting something 95% right is fully commendable, it’s the 5% you hear most.
“I used to love you, now I wanna kill you,” they say in the hook as “Hate” begins…and like…damn, right? I’ve always found relationships to be extremely weird like that. To me, if I loved you before, I probably still love you now, even though circumstances are obviously different. What’s the alternative? “Hate” is like the suggestion that you were wrong all along, or that the time meant nothing…and while that IS a possibility…fuck…make better choices? “Hate” is VENOMOUS y’all. Don’t get it twisted, I know plenty of people that would find this to be the most relatable cut they’ve ever heard in their goddamn lives, so there’s value in that…and like…listening to the lyricism, Haphazard is practically exorcising ALL the demons on this one track alone. Relationships don’t work out, that’s the thing…should you wanna go about MURDERIN’ your previous significant other because it wasn’t meant to be forever? I mean…it seems like a significant jump to come to that conclusion, ain’t it? “Hate” is built on rage and tunnel vision combined…and honestly, that’s valid…people end up feeling this way all the time, and I suspect that’s how a good deal of murderin’ ends up goin’ down – but in the case that you might be considering doing that, just know that a bit of fresh air and perspective will reveal the world is full of potential pairings, and that the hurt don’t last forever. It just doesn’t. Does that mean the feelings of “Hate” are any less valid? Hell no! Fuck, if it wasn’t for the ability to find some kind of catharsis in making music like what you’ll hear on this very track, I’m quite certain we’d all be stackin’ bodies up more than we already have been. Rhyming a reference to Michael Jackson’s Thriller and “shots of tequila” is next level genius though…make no mistake…that’s the talent to twist words to suit what the song needs, and I’m absolutely here for it. The main emcee in Haphazard is a force to be reckoned with, and if we can believe the lyricism, thoughts, and potent emotions on “Hate” to be true…the dude is quite likely a force in more ways than one, and you probably don’t wanna cross the man, you feel me? I’m a peaceful man by nature…and usually, Hip-Hop is too fundamentally. You’re experiencing the dark side of the sound on “Hate” and it’s tremendously effective – the lyrics, the music…this whole track will make your skin crawl.
I mean shit…I almost thought Haphazard was about to switch things up and take a twisted turn into terrain you’d expect to find on a Bodycount album for a second there. Haphazard needed to lighten up a little bit before they created the ultimate soundtrack to murderin’ bitches, and “I Like The Way” does the trick. Stylistically slick, it’s a short cut that’s practically an interlude too, but you get the full band treatment on this one, rhymes and all. Again, the emcee is relentlessly on-point, but so too is the band backing him up y’all! Haphazard had it all goin’ on throughout The Product and produced a whole set of songs that will keep you fully engaged from start to finish. “I Like The Way” might seem like a bit more of an afterthought in comparison to their most involved tracks, but it’s also the kind of song that makes it seem like this crew could have been just like The Roots in how they can start groovin’ in any style or genre under the sun at any given time. Like I said from the start, Haphazard fucking JAMS, and while it might be short, it’s tracks like “I Like The Way” that do the most to prove that. Plus, you get a bit of a glimpse of the classic sense of humor that’s always been a crucial part of the lyricism in Hip-Hop too by the time it wraps up in the finale. Consider me a fan of Haphazard for real…The Product is where it’s at.
“Haphazard also specializes in time travel.” You got that right homies. “Nostalgia” might just be the belle of the ball when it comes right down to it…there ain’t a bad song to be found on The Product really, but “Nostalgia” definitely taps into the heart of what Hip-Hop has always championed and done better than any other genre. I listen to a track like this, and I’m like, even Afroman owes a little something to Haphazard having come before him! I listen to a track like this, and feel like it’s the nostalgic equivalent to something as rad as DJ Jazzy Jeff And The Fresh Prince’s “Ain’t No Place Like Home,” but like…you know…the gleefully happy version of that concept, as opposed to drawing tears outta your face. “Nostalgia” is a celebration of the past, and it has a sound that reflects that perfectly. I felt like you get what’s arguably the best performance outta the whole crew on this particular cut, and also what’s arguably the most complete & balanced track on the whole record too. Like, I get it…most of us are gonna be totally attached to the gripping personality coming outta the m-i-c – but shout outs where they’re deserved, the music on this track is as seamless as it is timeless. You get solos from the bass and the drums along the way, and that’s the hallmark sign of a Hip-Hop crew that knows they’ve got the goods y’all. While other crews hide behind the one ingredient of a talented emcee, the ones that have always done it best know that they can fearlessly share the spotlight and love amongst them all, because there’s talent in every corner you look. What makes a track like “Nostalgia” so damn great is that it’s as loose as it is tight, and the personality & character of Haphazard is right out there in the Pasadena sunlight for all to see as plain as day. Riotously addictive from start to finish, the uplifting vibes of “Nostalgia” are always going to be welcome in these speakers of mine over here, yes indeed.
“Broke Beat 3.0” confirms that…well…let’s just say that “Broke Beat 1.0” is still the reigning champion of broke beats. I don’t wanna be that guy that will tell you the original is always better than the sequels will ever be, but right now, I’m not left with much of a choice. After the usual long silence at the start of this broke beat series, we’re left with the most interludey track of all interludes…and there really just ain’t a whole lot to it. Not that I’m expecting the broke beats to set the world on fire by comparison to the dedicated tracks of Haphazard, but I’ll put it to ya this way…I tend to believe things have to serve a definitive purpose, and the broke beats on The Product are really just cuts separating the real meat and potatoes, you know? Like I said earlier, I’m not skipping by them, but the more substantial cuts that are designed to be the main attraction end up being pretty obvious when you’re listening to the full album.
At their best and most focused, this crew is genuinely something special, no joke. It can take a band an entire lifetime to master the whole loose-meets-tight vibe, but Haphazard proved it can be done much earlier on in a career when you’ve got all the right pieces of the puzzle involved. There are no weak points in Haphazard…you won’t find any deficiencies on the microphone, and you won’t find any in the music either – this was a unit built with bulletproof parts and exceptional ideas. Listen to the jazzy soul sound happenin’ in the keyboard solo on “Haphazard Crew” will ya? Don’t get me wrong, I thought they did a tremendous job on “Hate,” but I’m also somewhat glad it was kind of the anomaly in this set-list – the main strengths of Haphazard really seemed to beam through when they’re tapping into the pure joy they get out of making music, playing with each other, and entertaining YOU, like they do on tracks like “Nostalgia” or “Haphazard Crew” towards the end of The Product. It would be seriously tough to figure out who actually has the edge talent-wise…believe me, I’ve tried to figure it out. I always seem to come out deciding it’s the drummer at first, but then I’m like, this emcee is the BOSS y’all…and then I’m like, but then that would leave out the incredible keys, or the killer bass-lines? So no…I’m not gonna do it…I’m not even gonna try to parse this crew out piece by piece, when the stone cold reality of what makes Haphazard so spectacular to listen to is the sheer fact that they place like one entity at all times. I might have felt like I ended up with my own particular favorites in this lineup of songs on The Product, with “Funky For You” actually ranking a lot higher on that list than you or I would have thought at first, but straight across the board, the “Haphazard Crew” brought consistency & quality to this whole record.
As for “Broke Beat 4.0” finishing off the album…let’s just say that the silence at the start was finally more relevant…at least in this instance, it almost felt like the ‘extra track’ hidden on all the old CDs and tapes you used to buy back in the day. But no – I’m still going with “Broke Beat 1.0” if you wanna know which of the broke beats deserves the title. I carry no grudge against a little playfulness. Don’t get it twisted, I’d have loved it if we got MORE Haphazard cuts on The Product than the 50/50 split it carries between its tracks and the interludes & such…but I’m not really complaining either. I’m stoked about what I found on this record and thankful that Haphazard IS like a time machine with the ability to warp us back to a time where Hip-Hop was made with authentic instrumentation, great ideas and good times combined. Now that I’ve fully sampled The Product, I want more – anyone know where I can get some?
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