Twisted Thoughts And Thoughtful Truths On Thursday #019

Twisted Thoughts And Thoughtful Truths On Thursday #019 – “You Show Up, So Too, Will I”

First of all, lemme be clear about the fact that when I get sick, I’m the biggest whiny bitch on the planet.  At least by my own standards.  Maybe people notice it, maybe they don’t…honestly, I don’t know because I usually barricade myself in from the rest of the world until the fever breaks or whatever.  I’m sick right now as I’m writing this and have been since about Sunday, and I fucking hate it.  Forces me to slow down, it forces me to rest, it forces me to not work as much – and I really can’t stand these things.

I didn’t even really have an idea or core concept to build around for this week’s Twisted Thoughts And Thoughtful Truths On Thursday, due to the fact I’ve shut my brain off almost entirely by this point, but I started to think about all the independent artists and bands I love, and how YOU all show up when it’s gig time, no matter what condition you’re in.  You show up, so too, will I.  So even though I should probably just be horizontal right now pretending I’m going to beat this cold in record time, I think the right thing to do is try to stick to my routine and follow your lead of showing up when it matters most.

For real…I think the general public has no clue what the independent scene goes through health-wise.  Heck, I don’t even think the mainstream remembers enough about the early days to know what the independent scene goes through…the big dogs have the luxury of cancelling shows or tours if needed, but the smaller ones don’t.  Nope…you’d face a backlash from a small but dedicated fan-base, albeit with a larger helping of understanding from most folks…and who knows if you’d even be invited back to the venue you were supposed to play if you had to cancel.  So you don’t cancel at all.  You show up.  You get out there, you play everything to the best of your ability, and you never think to even question the decision to do so.  You’re superhuman.  You independent artists and bands never cease to amaze me.

Maybe it’s the upbringing, or a sense of responsibility I was never instilled with.  As a kid, I learned by the time I was eight years old that having just the slightest bit of a sniffle meant I could spend the day at home.  When combined with the weight of parental guilt in a split-family situation, I truthfully didn’t even need that sniffle – I could just tell my mother that I was feeling crappy, and I could stay home from school for the day & watch the Price Is Right while eating bowls of chicken noodle soup.  Seemed ideal.  Believe it or not, I tried not to take too much advantage of that.  I had certain years that were definitely more of a challenge to navigate and I could rack up a late slip in the morning like you wouldn’t believe – like, I was nearly 1-for-1 in grades nine and eleven, as in, if it was a school day, I was late for it.  In my defence, I was still learning, just on my own schedule based on my own priorities.  Most of my sick days were spent listening to music and re-reading the liner notes & lyrics of whatever I was checking out.

I love my two nieces, but I’m not a massive fan of the idea of birthday parties and a shit ton of kids all getting together – that’s simply the blueprint of ‘how to get sick’ as far as I’m concerned.  Still, we do these things because we love our family & because it’s the ‘right thing to do,’ isn’t it?  Isn’t it crazy?  To show our respect, our love, our gratitude & whatnot, we’re all somehow willing to put the priority of our health aside so that we can have some cake.  Even the main reasons we go to these parties – the kids – they’re all playing with each other and could give less than two shits about any of the adults being there.  So again…I think I’m questioning all of our life choices collectively and wondering out loud as to why in the all fuck we’d put these germ farms together and then go stand around in the cloud of bacteria for hours and hours while they scream, laugh, and play.  I’m not crazy to say that’s insane am I?  Am I?

Anyhow.  One bouncy castle session later, an incredible niece that is now seven years old and counting, and both my wife and I start feeling weird the day afterward.  We were supposed to get together with some new friends of ours, which we bailed on in a sincere effort to preserve our health.  It didn’t work – my wife got worse by the hour all through last Sunday, yet pretty much beat it by Monday night.  As for myself?  I caught on about late Sunday night and I’m still not over this stupid-ass cold now.  That’s about five full days of me being a write-off, or at least, a slowed-down version of myself, which is a write-off to me.  Anytime I’m not moving at my maximum potential, I’m disappointed by what I could have done with the time I wasted.  Being sick is no excuse…at least, not to me.  So I’m still here somewhere, just scaled back doing what I can to the best of my ability for as long as I can keep my eyes open before I eventually head back to bed to try and sleep this demon-cold the hell out of me once and for all time!  I still post up whatever is on my schedule and the things I’ve committed to working on.  Are you kidding me?  I modelled my entire life as a writer based on things I’d read from Hunter S. Thompson – of COURSE I show up when it counts and I meet any deadline I’ve set for my work – it’s in my DNA and that is literally all I know how to do correctly.  It’s the script that came with my brain…the factory pre-set.

Yet all I need to do is look around to the independent scene and see you freakin’ WARRIORS get out there with your axes, your keyboards, drums, bass, and microphones…because the show must go on, as they say.  With droopy eyes, slight coughs, aches and pains, you get out there, you perform, you don’t complain, and you’d do it all again the next day if it was already on schedule.  That shit is INSPIRING to me…not gonna lie.  If you wanna have a debate over the merits of staying home and such, we can have that conversation, yes – but let’s not kid ourselves about the fact that it’s impressive independent artists continue to find the strength to show the fuck up, day after day, month after month, year after year.

Have you even seen an independent artist or band have to CANCEL a show?  It’s like, the saddest thing you’ll ever see with your own two eyes.  Rest assured, they probably tried EVERYTHING to make that show happen, and trust me when I tell you, the last thing they’d ever want to do is purposely mess with the support you’re giving them while it’s still in the process of growing & taking root.  It’s heartbreaking to see any of these amazing folks have to cancel a show, and in most instances, I’m sure they feel way worse about not being able to perform at 100% for you, than you feel about suddenly not having a concert to go to on a Wednesday night.  We’re all human…we’re all selfish by design…we see someone cancel on us, whether it’s a concert or otherwise, and instantly recoil at the slighting, however unintended it truly is.  We get mad about missing what could have been, having to make alternative plans, or straight-up just not seeing a show you had your heart set on…we can all relate to that in our own unique ways.  What we more often forget to do, is put the shoe on the other foot and think about why that artist or band ended up having to cancel in the first place.  We don’t remember to consider the very real & very human element that drives the machinery of society and how it functions.  Sometimes you can’t show up despite the best of your intentions, because you can’t be yourself without your health – and collectively, I think we should all be much more understanding of/aware of that.  We should be thinking about all the many ways they tried NOT to cancel before freaking out that they did.  Because believe me when I tell ya, push, pull or drag, they’d have rather been out there onstage, with all of you.

So there you have it…that’s my two cents on being sick I suppose.  I guess the point is to show up when it matters…don’t go catching colds for the sport of it, they don’t give out merit badges for collecting the most of’em, as far as I know.  Meet your deadlines.  Be true to your word.  Don’t cancel your shit with the people you love unless you’ve got a legitimate reason, but also don’t worry so much about whether or not that reason might not seem valid to anyone else other than you.  YOU have the responsibility to be THE person in this world that YOU can rely on…so whatever it takes, truly, don’t let yourself down.

I could go on and on about all this…I’m sure a few of you have noticed throughout the years that I kind of have a special knack for doing exactly that.  Today though, I’m going to break with that tradition, keep it short, and make one last point in the process…here goes.  We might not always be able to show up at max capacity – and that’s okay.  Whether it’s a gesture, a text message, a dropped off package, or just showing up for the first part of a set at a local concert…it could be anything…the point is, do whatever you can to show up in what ways you can.  If that’s just a little, know that’s still a lot.  We all know what it’s like to be sick or not at our best, and I like to think we all appreciate effort more than we do results.

Your support for the independent artists and bands out there, and their support of you in return, is a symbiotic relationship that needs genuine acknowledgement, respect, and appreciation from both sides of the story.  Treat each other in a way that confirms you sincerely know how important one side is to the other, because none of us get to where we want to go on our own…we can only do that, together.

There it is…that’s it, that’s all.  I gave you what I could give you today, and tomorrow I will get up with the opportunity to do it even better.  As always, I appreciate you taking the time to read my thoughts.

Be excellent to each other.

Your ally in all-things-music, in sickness and in health, til’ death do us part,

– Jer @ SBS