My Little Morties – Drops Mic And Screens At Mic On The Floor. Legend – EP Review
Perception is such a funny thing.
Within mere hours of this new record from notorious musical villain My Little Morties coming into my inbox, I received a message from whatever or whomever is behind this stuff…it read:
“are you doing the review right now”
To which I replied,
“Would that matter?”
“yes it would matter” said My Little Morties.
“Interesting.” I replied.
Like I said…perception sure is a funny thing. You’d think this person would know after reading my past reviews on My Little Morties that I have no inclination, want, or desire to listen…especially not in any kind of hurry that’s for sure. So as to who was clicking the files on the ol’ internet while he so patiently sat refreshing his screen and monitoring the statistics of who’s listening, lol, I honestly couldn’t tell ya.
But I can tell ya it sure wasn’t me. Why would it be?
I can also tell ya this will likely be the last time we have My Little Morties at our pages…we’ll see how it goes. Which is too bad in a way…ending on a highlight here & all, I kinda like a lot of this record, weird as his music always is. But you see dear readers, dear friends…the place of business which shall remain nameless (Fiverr) where people tend to find me & hire me decided to kick me out officially today…I’ll only be taking on projects I want to take on from here on in. My Little Morties and I haven’t ever gotten along and there’s been no genuine attempts to heal that divide…even when he left the conversation saying “you are right also sorry for pissing you off in the comments” (none of which makes any actual sense in context anyhow) there’s no sincerity there. But hey…this being the last official time I have to deal with this & all, who cares? I’m gettin’ outta this contract soon enough & dropping balloons in celebration of it. Guy can say whatever he likes, right on, the floor is all yours bud & thanks for the contribution to our coffers. Sigh. I don’t have the energy for our usual cat & mouse game today…My Little Morties, you win, congratulations.
It starts out with “SBS YOU ARE FORGIVEN” – which, yep, is a reference to us here at sleepingbagstudios. Though I didn’t ask for, seek out, or want to be forgiven…obviously. There’s a whole bunch of babies crying, which I suppose is the clever symbolism My Little Morties has put into this song to represent my opinion or something…who knows…the intellectual aspect of what this guy creates is always soooooooo beyond my tiny pea-brain’s ability to comprehend such genius. Bunch of bangin’ and a bunch of vocal samples stacked on top of each other in a heap…the beat’s alright, same thing with the gritty guitar tone when it comes in…the wall of sound ensues etc. etc. – but actually, it’s not the worst thing I’ve heard from My Little Morties. As much as we might not like each other whatsoever in any way, shape, or form – he understands I’m only gonna be honest about the music all the same. I actually like this. I don’t like the fact that he made it, and I don’t like the fact that it has anything to do with us at SBS even on a symbolic level of course – I don’t want anything to do with this project, yet it chooses us as a theme, each and every single time we end up interacting. Like I said, last time, so have at it hoss, use it on up. “SBS YOU ARE FORGIVEN” is the masterpiece the entire world has been waiting for from My Little Morties! C’mon now. Please.
“Why Add Lyrics? I Dislike Typing” is about as interesting as the music on the cloud-levels of Mario 3. So if ya dig on that whole vibe, right on, turn this on up. There’s a narrative that’s nearly impossible to discern…tells a story of some kind I’m sure…and the music continues being music. Not quite sure what My Little Morties wants me to say about this one…I don’t hate it, it’s boring, one-note & one-dimension as all hell, but I’m too defeated to reach up and skip the song whenever it comes on right now…so I guess there’s that? Let the music play I say! Right My Little Morties? That’s what you want right? Just to know that SOMEONE is listening? Cheers and a toast to you my friend, I’m doing that. I mean, it’s obvious he saved the real fireworks for the final eight seconds of “Why Add Lyrics? I Dislike Typing” – that’s where it totally comes ALIVE man…the innovation, invention, and imagination…staggering I tell ya.
“THE EVILS PJW COMMITTED IN HIS YOUTH” is the most listenable and accessible track that My Little Morties has ever put together – I mean that. It’s only a minute & sixteen-seconds long & all, but good job guy, I wouldn’t actually change a thing here. It’s a tiny lil’ soundscape…kinda cute really…much more melodic & sweet than the evil implied by the title…there’s the one ominous sound that pops in a couple times to darken this vibe up a bit, which is actually just as cool as the rest really. Like I said, we don’t get along, but good music is good music & that’s fundamentally all I’m here to care about – “THE EVILS PJW COMMITTED IN HIS YOUTH” is probably my favorite cut of any track in the My Little Morties catalog.
Not sure what he’s going with “Dan Howell’s Diss Track” – this is where you end up calling the entire catalog of My Little Morties into question…cause none of this is actually being played – so what is actually being accomplished here? He’s copped an Aphex Twin song for himself, put a beat into it, slowed it down & sped it up a lil’ along the way, and added a vocal sample to it? So what? I’m extra pissed considering it’s one of my favorite Aphex Twin songs…which…good lord I can only assume that somehow the spirit of My Little Morties KNOWS somehow, and did this just to mess with my world once again for whatever reason he always likes to do so. Like I said, you win guy…I ain’t fightin’ no more, you’re the champion, the musical wizard or whatever, I bow down before ya…I don’t know what it all takes, but let’s just be done with it all, alrighty? I’m about two-steps off the ledge right now…and I’ll completely leave it up to you on whether or not you think it’s a good idea to keep pushing me. But yeah, again, I don’t know what he wants me to say…this song does things yes…but he’s just taking the work of others and just putting it in a larger pile…if collage-art is your thang, right on, this is for you. Anyhow, if I was Aphex Twin, I’d be suing the crap out of My Little Morties for the two dimes he’s got left, just because. Not because it’s a terrible song really…honestly, just because, & for no other reason. Seems like a fantastic way to spend a Saturday afternoon & if I could do the same myself, I surely would.
“I LAUGHED SO HARD MY SPINE POPPED” AND THEN GUESS WHAT? HAHA. I WROTE A SONG ABOUT IT. CAUSE I’M COOL. HAHA. LIKE – LOOK AT ME! I’M MY LITTLE MORTIES! I MAKE MUSIC!?! SEE HOW COOL I AM? I ALSO USE CAPITAL LETTERS A WHOLE BUNCH AND TEND TO NOT MAKE ANY SENSE AT ALL, EVER. WHEEEEEEE! Yawn. This would be where the troll in My Little Morties is coming out to play yet again and how transparent he’s being in the process. He knows full well that there’s no skill involved with what you hear on “I LAUGHED SO HARD MY SPINE POPPED” and no craft involved either, unless you count the ability to annoy. So you see…and…and…hang on tight, cause this is where it gets SUPER clever…that’s why “I LAUGHED SO HARD MY SPINE POPPED” – do you get it now? He knows I don’t want to listen to this, neither do you, neither does anyone else…but he can indeed, spend some dough to get people to listen. Long gone are those days partner! Been a ton of fun though, laugh it up. It begs the question, is it better to be in on the joke, see through it all too easily, or just straight-up be one?
“Does Anyone Else Feel Like Playing Minecraft” – that’d be a huge no bro? But obviously? Anyone wasting their time in that capacity is basically just a lump of useless flesh upon our planet…so no, I don’t feel like plugging in a million years of my actual life in favor of a virtual one that means nothing. And yes, I get the irony…because that’s exactly what it feels like I’m stuck in whenever My Little Morties and I decide we’re doing this dance together again. It’s like a fax machine print-out or an old dial-up internet connection on repeat, with a drum beat as well…those are the things that you will hear on “Does Anyone Else Feel Like Playing Minecraft” – I have no idea if that’s symbolic of sounds you’d find in the game or not, it literally holds no interest for me. The song ain’t really all that bad and it’s actually kind of even entertaining at times, despite its brutalizing sounds & repetitive nature…but as to whether or not it has anything to do with the legions of people nerding-out on Minecraft, I have no clue & care much less. It’s a two element song…My Little Morties makes some noise…if you like noise, tune in, sure.
Mehhhhhhhh…I dunno where I stand with “HI MY FRIENDS, GOOD SONG” – it’s okay I suppose. On the one hand, kinda dull & uninspired…and like, I really don’t want to support My Little Morties if I can avoid it; on the other hand, it’s like, not really the worst song out there. It’s no “THE EVILS PJW COMMITTED IN HIS YOUTH” – I’m not sure it’s even a “Does Anyone Else Feel Like Playing Minecraft” really…dude had a good thing going on before adding in the final erratic synth layer and bass that makes no sense. Then what’s delicate, serene, and actually fairly enjoyable, descends into the usual mayhem & madness that feels like multiple songs stacked up on top of each other without any real connection from layer to layer. On a first listen, “HI MY FRIENDS, GOOD SONG” will skate on by with a fair amount of acceptance…it’s only in repeating it & holding it up to the light to examine it that you realize there’s not really much here at all…pleasant enough sound I guess…even quaint & comforting at times, but he kills that pretty quick.
And then like…*yawn…*stretch…dude goes for a little…*yawwwwwwn – sorry, more tired & bored than I thought…song to shock you at the end. “Why Bother Tagging?” goes for the extreme and hits hard with a pounding digital thunderstorm of sound, in direct contrast to the gentleness you’ll find on the last cut. It is what it is, as they say…”Why Bother Tagging?” is indeed, a song on a record. Production is actually pretty rad…and like many things to do with My Little Morties, there are flashes of brilliance, but never for long. This last cut is like every alarm & nightmare scenario going off in your neighborhood all at once…and I ain’t gonna lie to ya, it is actually fairly shocking to the system…I wouldn’t listen to this with the lights off that’s for sure. Mind ya…I probably won’t be listening with the lights on either, but you get the point…scary stuff here and full of unapologetic sounds that provoke the evilest of thoughts in your head to come out. And then all of a sudden you snap out of it, and your review is finished.
Find out more about My Little Morties, or don’t, from his page at Bandcamp here: https://mylittlemortes.bandcamp.com
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